nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
