So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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