Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
