i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
