I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The air was thick with penises
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
