I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
