Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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