I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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