CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
lol hangovers are for mortals.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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