Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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