Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
