His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
