I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
