You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Alive.
So much puke
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
