oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
