Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
