If that was your dad, he is hot
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
