My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
