i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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