i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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