I must be too annoying 4 u.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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