i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
