I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
this will be a night to untag.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Less talking, more tequila
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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