He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize