and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
