My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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