Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
