Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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