Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
