My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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