my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
