she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
