ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
