She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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