new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
