Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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