is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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