does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Please, let me fuck your mom
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
