i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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