You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
