I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
