her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
it was like eating out sand paper
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
