After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
