How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Boobs speak an international language.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize