I never want to see another naked old woman again.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
