you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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