I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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