hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize