Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
