I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
