I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
