I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
