I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
