he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize