I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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