you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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