no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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