Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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