I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
