My hand turned me down
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
