i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize
