someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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