Just fell off a train. Bad.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My vagina is officially offended.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
